In my first draft of my early work sample, Project 1, I focused mainly on sentence structure and making sure everything flowed. It certainly did. However, there is not much content to digest. I put thought into the ideas I included; however, I did not deeply analyze them. My baseline of ideas was more repetition of my thesis statement instead of adding ideas to my thesis statement to add to my point. Also, I did not include others’ points of view as I did not see it was necessary. Compared to my finished product, I added an introduction and a conclusion. However, both were short and could have set the scene, given an initial baseline of ideas, and wrapped up the essay better. During peer review of project one, I focused a lot more on words and sentence structure than the content of the essay. Growing from this, I made significant changes to my revision process. In my chosen work sample, Project 2, I focus heavily on the ideas and making the essay attractive.
To ensure I was not repeating my thesis statement. In project 1, my thesis was vague and bland and could apply to almost everything. So it made it harder to write because I could not get specific. When doing project 2, I completely changed how I analyzed quotes. I focused too much on the big picture ideas of the quote instead of breaking it down sentence by sentence and analyzing its meaning. When facing Project 2, I took what I learned in class about adding different perspectives to prove my point. I did this in high school but more as a rebuttal paragraph instead of being sprinkled in throughout the essay. I also learned the importance of how you phrase things because it can completely change the meaning. Trying to get your ideas across on paper can be difficult because I never know the best way to say them. This is something I will continue to work on in past English Composition. This shows I took ideas mainly from our discussions in class and voice memo feedback given on my first essay to attack Project 2. I have developed maturely in my writing skills as now I have a different perspective. It is not about making it look good because that is a surface-level skill that I perfected in high school. It is more about your ideas on the paper that interest a reader. When you have something to say that gets the reader thinking in a foreign mindset is when you know you wrote a good essay. I also learned the importance of how you phrase things